Threat or Promise
by mizutanitony
Summary: Kaidan Alenko looks back on his life while preparing for a celebration marking the third year anniversary of the end of the Reaper War.


And I just finished my Kaidan run through. Chose Destroy...not gonna spoil it but satisfied, my Shepard lived so that's why this is happening. Please do not start flame wars. That is all.

Although in this runthrough I had Wreav alive and not Wrex...need to see it with Wrex. And I killed the Geth...yeah...wanted something new.

Also OWNED BY BIOWARE! Except for my Shepard. Also during this like...VERY shortly after I started the romance Kaidan said to me, "You left without waking me."

I was like "WHAT THE HELL? CARRIC YOU DOG, YOU!"

Well as he once said, "hooking up is about the only thing they can do."

Threat or Promise.

English Bay. He couldn't believe he was standing here again on the balcony of his parents' freshly rebuilt house, an ice cold glass of water slowly freezing his hand. It was funny, in all his years he never thought he'd have survived the hell that they'd been brought into six years ago.

Times had been...hard since then. Earth was a mess, but it could have been worse. Rural areas had seen little damage, but the damage had been done. In the year it took for the war to finish, the Reapers had destroyed almost half of the planet's population, in addition to the Collector attacks six months prior…

He forced himself to stop. It was the past. He had to bury it or else he wouldn't have the courage to face what was scheduled for the day. Draining his glass, he returned to the kitchen and put it in the sink. When he returned to the living room he took in the surroundings of his family's newly rebuilt home.

It was different to be sure, but it was changed and the change was needed. There were too many old and happy memories that were too hard to face. Not for him, he'd lived through worse, but for her. He'd changed the plans of the old house a bit for her.

The old breakfast nook where he'd found them so many times in quiet conversation, eyes smiling and hands held; it was gone. Sometimes he'd find her walking over there to sit down and bask in the sunlight that used to pour in from the windows. Now, instead of the small indent, she found a flat wall and a small end table with a lamp on it.

Staring at the lamp, he remembered the stories of how they'd found her. His dad had survived and came back to Earth to find her - to get her somewhere safe. When he'd gotten to the orchard, the Reaper troops had already arrived.

From what they could determine, the Reapers had attempted to take the people closest to the Normandy crew as a way of turning them against Shepard. However, it was quickly deemed as a failure for two reasons: the crew never received any indication of such a threat and his mother was found holding his father's shotgun; blasting everything in sight as she stood over his father's body.

Although the Reapers had failed in their primary objective, the hell they had inflicted was enough. It had taken months for his mother to even be able to step outside again. When she finally did, Kaidan felt a little bit of sanity to return to his world and he'd finally been able to take her off world to Illium where he'd seen her smile for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. For awhile he was happy, empty, but happy.

His nights were barely restful; tossing and turning, his bed cold and his sleep far from satisfactory. Every night he'd wake up and stare to his left in the hopes of seeing something, but only saw the blank palette of his sheets.

Sleep was also made nearly impossible thanks to the memories of his friends. Six months after the war they'd held the memorial. In London, they had built a wall in front of the conduit that had taken two of their heroes: two men who had sacrificed themselves to rid them of the cycle of existence since time immemorial. Now they were nothing but names on a wall. It seemed less than fitting, but he knew they would have wanted it that way. They weren't men who enjoyed the limelight of ceremonies, medals and praise. They were men who did their duty and counted themselves only as soldiers.

"Kaidan honey, did you hear me?"

The sound of his mother's voice brought him out of his memory and he turned to find her adjusting the strap of her dress. Her black hair was done up in a bun and she had the slightest dab of make up to her face.

"Sorry, Mom. You look...you look good," he apologized, thinking she'd asked him what he thought about her choice of clothing for the day. A simple yet elegant sky blue dress.

"That wasn't the question young man, but I appreciate the compliment," she laughed; walking up to him and running a finger under his eye, "Are you feeling well? You've been crying."

Rubbing a hand under his eyes, he pulled them back to see small spots of water on them and laughed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I got caught up in a few memories."

She nodded and gave him an understanding smile. Even now he occasionally found her sitting next to the night stand crying at night and on more than one occasion, had joined her.

Today was a day for celebration. It marked the third year anniversary of the end of the war. Many would be celebrating in pubs, some at memorials, and others in their own homes. They had their own special celebration planned.

He felt he warmth of his mother's lips on his forehead. "Come on, my love. The day is ticking away."

After a quick shuttle and a half an hour flight south, they arrived at the lodge.

Helping his mother out, he was greeted by a couple of blue cannon balls attacking his legs followed by the shouts of their mother.

"GIRLS, YOU GET OFF OF HIM THIS INSTANT!" the stern voice yelled from the front door.

The two little ones dropped to the ground and wrapping their legs around his, shouted, "We want shoulder ride!"

Laughing, Kaidan used his biotics to lift the children up onto his shoulders and bounced them a few times, making them laugh loudly.

"Kaidan, I am so sorry," the familiar and lyrical voice apologized.

Stopping, he squeezed the girls to his shoulders and chuckled, "It's fine, Liara. It's my job as their favorite uncle to spoil them rotten. Right, girls?"

He looked up and the two blue balls of energy saluted him, "Aye, aye, sir!"

"Its days like this I'm thankful I destroyed my ship before the war. Goddess knows how many secrets they'd have sent out by accident if they had been on board," the Shadow Broker sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"We're good at keeping secrets, Mommy!" exclaimed the child on Kaidan's left shoulder, "Right, Siri?"

"Right, Zoe!" nodded her twin emphatically from Kaidan's right shoulder.

"See no secrets coming out!" making a locking motion on her lips.

Their mother laughed; reaching up for them as they catapulted off of the human's shoulders and into their mother's arms. She gave them a quick squeeze before setting them on the ground.

"Now you two run off to your father. I have to talk with your uncle."

"Yes, Mommy!" the girls clasped hands and ran off toward Feron and immediately began to beg him for attention making Liara let out another exasperated sigh while Kaidan and his mother laughed.

"They're such little darlings. Can I please watch them one weekend? Maybe during my next trip to Thessia."

Liara turned to Kaidan's mother and smiled, "That would be most appreciated Natasha."

The human woman smiled and hugged the asari before wandering into the fray of the other guests.

When she was gone, Liara gave him a nudge in the ribs and laughed, "You look like you're about to be sick."

Chuckling, Kaidan scratched the back of his head and smiled at her, "A little I guess."

"Any particular reason?" her voice still held a small laugh, but there was a serious hint of concern in it as well.

He let out a loud sigh and watched the crowd in front of him. There were so many familiar faces, and yet it never seemed so empty with friends they'd fought with now gone. James and Javik had died in London. The justicar Samara had paid the ultimate price taking out a Reaper by flying her ship into its core. The woman named Jack had spent several days in intensive care before finally letting go due to her injuries. So many faces gone, and for some, the only hint of their existence was their name on the memorial that spread throughout the city of London.

They were dead, but he was alive; going through the motions of what should be a joyous occasion, but something was keeping him from finding that joy.

Instead he let out a loud sigh; shaking his head, asked his old friend, "Do you think this is right – us being here today?"

Liara tapped her chin with her forefinger before nodding with a smile, "I believe it's appropriate."

Her cool Shadow Broker voice had a great deal of warmth in it, "It's been three years Kaidan. Time heals all wounds and life is too short for us to dwell on the events of the past."

"Easy for you to say," he scoffed.

She looked up at him, her ocean blue eyes filled with sadness at his remark making his stomach feel like it was about to leap into his throat, "That was out of line. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she sighed, "you were just being observant."

She looked at Feron, who was now playing the part of a tree for the children to chase each other around.

"I may outlive him, but I will have our daughters. Just as the salarians have learned to process emotions quickly, we asari have learned to brush aside the reality of the limited time we have with our mates who do not share our longevity."

Her hand found its way into his and she gave it a squeeze.

"I will not have him forever, but I have these moments with him. I'll have all the reminders of the time we spent together and I will have our daughters. Cherish your time Kaidan. It may be a short amount of time but it is your time," she said as her hand slipped from his reaching grasp; walking to her husband and children to join in their play.

An hour later he was standing in front of a mirror, straightening his red tie. He was about to rip it off when a familiar voice echoed throughout the room.

"I don't think that's wise, Kaidan."

He turned around and saw Garrus standing in the doorway his bionic right arm gently twirling a sifter of brandy. Even with the fake limb and the missing right eye, the turian was still one of the best shots in the galaxy.

"Easy enough for you to say. I was at your ceremony and you only had to wear robes - nice, airy robes – while this," he tugged the tie loose and began retying it for the fourth time, "is a suffocating pain in the ass," he grunted.

Garrus chuckled again and drained the rest of his brandy, "Well that is one of the benefits of being turian. Streamlined and efficient, none of these pointless frivolities you humans seem to put so much stock in."

As he finally finished with his tie, Kaidan turned around and sighed, "How do I look?"

"You look good, Kaidan," said the sharpshooter, as he shook his head and looked over his friend.

Setting down the sifter, he walked forward and straightened the tie a bit and laughed, "Now hurry it up, or I'm going to shoot your ass out that door."

He was pacing when Kaidan arrived; forefinger in his mouth and his teeth gently grinding on the flesh.

"You all right?"

The man looked up with a start; letting out a sigh of relief, "You scared the shit out of me."

Walking forward, Kaidan grabbed him by the lapels and gave them a tug.

"A measly human scaring the great, Commander Shepard? I think you're getting soft in your retirement, Carri," he gently chided.

Shepard grumbled at the use of his private name and Kaidan laughed.

Today had been a long time coming and the Major was glad he wasn't the only one who was nervous.

Everyone had expected this to happen the moment Shepard had recovered from his injuries. He'd been discovered by a band of mercs trapped in some sort of stasis device a year and a half ago. A Keeper was found monitoring his vitals and after several weeks they were able to remove him from the pod without killing him.

It hadn't been easy after he woke up. Carric had spent a lot of time in solitary confinement talking with shrinks and had minimal visitors. He'd barely said a word for the first few weeks. The only people he'd say more than three words to, were his mother, Garrus, Liara, and Natasha. Kaidan was an off limit topic. He denied the biotic any form of communication.

When Kaidan had finally gotten the courage to break his way into the Commander's room, he could see why.

What had sat in front of him was a shell of the man he'd fallen in love with. His normally strong face was sunken in and sallow. His eyes barely held any sort of life. His body was covered in scars. His hands were burnt so badly that the flesh had peeled away; showing several of the metallic implants Cerberus had used to rebuild his skeleton.

He hadn't said anything the first day, or the second, in fact it had taken a month of constant visits for Shepard to finally break down and ask what the major wanted.

"I've been asking myself the same thing for nearly a year, Carric," he felt tears begin to pour down his face, "Now that I've got it, I don't even know what to do."

That opened the flood gates and for several hours they talked about their plans, their relationship, and what they would do. They both came to one agreement, to start slow. Carric had missed much while he was gone and wanted to see what his choice had done to the galaxy. Kaidan knew his commander would need to be by his side.

They'd taken trips off world, civilian shuttles to other planets and they weren't always the scenes of harmonious peace that everyone wished for. More than a few times, they'd been attacked by people who'd lost more than just their homes. They saw children, homes and refugee shelters. They saw the best in many races helping one another, but there were also times when they'd been forced to stop people from ripping one another apart over scraps of food.

When it came time to return to Earth, Kaidan had to return alone.

When his lover broke this news to him, Kaidan simply asked, "Are you feeling guilty?"

Shepard looked around at the work that needed to be done and shook his head, "I feel responsible."

The major pulled his commander close and gave him a kiss on the lips before burying his face in the man's hair, "I'll contact you when I reach Earth."

That was their relationship for nearly the past year with an occasional phone call or trip to meet one another. Some times Shepard would return to Earth, other times Kaidan would catch a transport to whichever planet the first human Spectre was organizing reconstruction on. It was difficult, but they made it work.

But now, here they were, on the home planet of their species standing side by side amidst a small group of close friends; allowing themselves a single moment to cement something almost a decade in the making.

The room was quiet as Hannah Shepard addressed her son's rather unusual family. The fact that his mother was presiding over their ceremony had been a joke suggestion by Tali one night when they were on Rannoch with her and Garrus. They'd shared a laugh and even their adopted daughter, a turian infant they'd named Aelia, screamed in agreement. Kaidan laughed along with Shepard as if it was some sort of joke, but that night when he'd woken up to get a glass of water he heard Carric talking to his mother in Tali's study.

Kaidan and Hannah had grown close over the years. She was like a second mother to him and he could see where Shepard got his sense of honor and kindness. The major wasn't surprised to hear her accept her son's offer. He was more shocked that the concept had been on the man's mind and that he was making the request of her. But the following morning, he had no problem blurting out the word, "yes," before the commander could even ask the question.

It seemed too good to be true, but when he looked at him as he said his vows, Kaidan felt complete for the first time in a long while.

When they broke the kiss that united them, their friends cheered loudly and when they parted, Hannah gave each of them a quick kiss before declaring the party had officially started.

They went on for hours, drinking, eating, laughing, and dancing. The two grooms shared a couple of slow dances with their mothers, with Shepard actually impressing everyone for once with his skills as a dancer. Joker even talked Liara into strutting her stuff after a large number of drinks. It'd taken him awhile to get over the loss of EDI but that night, the pilot was waving his arms just as he had that night in Purgatory.

But all good things must come to an end, and at midnight the merry band of soldiers dispersed and headed off to their rooms for the evening.

Once alone, Shepard headed off for a shower; he'd invited Kaidan to join him, but the major said he needed a few minutes alone and retired to the balcony to take in the day's events.

He felt guilty sitting in such lavish surroundings. His latest beer was slowly growing flat and warm in his hands as he took in the scenery. He was so entranced by the beauty of the mountains, untouched by the hell that had plagued their world for nearly a year that he didn't even notice Shepard until the man's arms were wrapped around his neck and his lips gently kissing him behind the ear.

"Stop it," the major laughed.

"Why? I thought you enjoyed this?" chuckled the commander as his hands dipped into the biotic's shirt.

Kaidan shivered at the touch, not only because of where Shepard had touched, but also at the coldness of his fingers. Shepard had decided not to have skin grafted back onto his fingers. It had been difficult to get used to, but Kaidan understood. They were a reminder of everything Shepard had destroyed, but also a reminder of the future that they would be building.

There was also the fact that Shepard was rather good with his hands and the odd mixture of warm flesh and cold metal had a rather surprising effect on the major. This time, however; was different.

Stopping his teasing, the commander rested his chin on his husbands head, "What's the matter?"

Kaidan sighed and looked out at the mountains.

"I don't know. I had this talk with Liara earlier but I can't shake the feeling that..."

"That we don't deserve this?" Shepard finished.

The biotic chuckled, "You had the same thought?"

The engineer let out a deep breath and pulled the man closer to him as he stared out at the star filled sky.

"Yeah, I did. I agonized over asking you for so long that after awhile I just gave up on even thinking about it. I mean, what have I done to deserve this happiness? But after all the talks, I felt that this was something we had to do, even though I already had you."

Kaidan laughed quietly and turned to meet his husband. His eyes locked with the other man's for a brief moment before leaning in and kissing him. When they parted he sighed, "I'm glad I followed you, Carric."

The Spectre rested his forehead against the older man's saying, "I'm glad you were insane enough to follow me."

Grunting out a laugh Kaidan asked, "You think I'm as insane as you?"

Shepard's mouth turned upward in a grin, his eyes beaming with mischief, "Well you were insane enough to agree to marrying me?"

Placing his hand on his heart in mock offense, Kaidan gasped, "Ouch. Keep talking like that and I may get an annulment."

Shepard's narrowed dangerously, "Do that and you'll see just how insane I really am."

"Is that a threat?" The major's eyes narrowing in return, "or a promise."

Jerking his head toward the king-size bed, Shepard growled, "How about you get off your ass and find out for yourself."

Chuckling devilishly, Kaidan gave a mock salute before growling back, "Lead the way, Commander."


End file.
